P45 Me!

Everyone’s trying to get fired these days, first it’s David with his ‘worst employee of the month’ entry, then Alan wants to leave his magic bus and now James is jacking it all in at AGRISOP. Doesn’t anyone want to work for a living (he said with tongue firmly in cheek – which makes the words come out all mumbly, like you’ve been eating instabond adhesive)?

I, of course gave James the most hypocritical advice I possibly could: follow your dream. Ha, ha. And thrice more, ha! Like I don’t still fret the decision to go part time, let alone the looming fear of actually giving up real work all together. Not that it has always been thus, I have had some monstrously shitty jobs in the past where I couldn’t wait to get the hell out of there. At one place I started having this recurring dream where I would walk into the office and kill every last one of them, taking extra care to make sure no one could call the police or escape. Not healthy.

And that’s not to mention the time when the waste pipes broke on the flotel I was working on. Mmmm, big lakes of piss with jobbie islands and toilet paper reefs filling the corridors. Nothing says job satisfaction like mopping up human excrement on a floating accommodation unit in the middle of the North Sea.

But, to be perfectly frank, I’ve had worse jobs…

One Response to “P45 Me!”

  1. I’d hardly call it ‘jacking it all in’ Mr Stuart. After all, the project was meant to employ me for five to ten days a month. I’ve looked at my earnings from it over the past year and it comes to eleven and a half days chargeable work. I could reasonably plead some form of constructive dismissal, or at least misrepresentation or something. The worst thing of it all is that whilst the job was definitely jobbie-icebergs-in-a-sea-of-widdle fun, my boss for the job was (and is) a really nice bloke who was doing his best to make a silk purse from some pork scratchings. So I feel like one of those aforementioned jobbies for letting him down.

    On the plus side, it won’t be long before you start to see the public response to CG, which I predict will be most favourable. Then you can have at your work colleagues with a General Electric minigun (hmm… beginning of book three?)