The Blog of Stuart MacBride

Alas poor Yorik…

Well, it’s been a while and I’m still not on the old internet full-time, but I have been able to sneak onto the Ethernet for long enough to revisit the old haunts. And I see that Little Rickards is doing a special on “things what have died this year”. Well, I was going to do an upbeat thing about the fact this is one of the few years, in the last dozen, that I can actually look back on and say: “You know what: that didn’t suck!”, but his clarion call to the melancholy has got me in its spell.…

Read more

Darling you’ve got to let me know…

I have to point out that I’m not propositioning anyone here (my wife disapproves of such behaviour), it’s just a title thing. Should I stay, or should I go? This then is the question that’s been plaguing me for the last ten months. Ever since that gilded trumpet sounded, bringing with it the angels from HarperCollins in all their publishing glory. Now, to put this in context I probably have to tell you that my expectations on the old publishing front were modest, to say the least. So when HC came back with their pretty swanky offer it was beyond…

Read more

Broadband? What broadband?

As you can probably tell from the preceding chunk of silence the whole “I know, I’ll get broadband in for Christmas,” thing has been about as successful as Anne Widicome’s nude modelling career. Not for me sitting in the comfort of mine own home, surfing the net, accessing the old hotmail and posting to the blog. Nope. Not an electronic chipolata for me this festive season. The main reason being that British Telecom can’t differentiate between that bendy bit in the middle of their arm and the two wobbly things they sit on. Probably because both are really close to…

Read more

Swearing – not big, not clever…

And yet we all do it. Unless you’re some kind of saintly nun, living on Rich Tea Biscuits in a remote convent’s broom cupboard. John Rickards had a rant the other day about people who use the naughty language, but hide it behind coy asterisks. Which got me to thinking: as an occasional offender – and thus at risk from what’s swiftly becoming known as ‘Rickards’ F*****g Law’ – why do I use much, much filthier language when I write books than I would anywhere else? I mean, I have been known to let fly the odd torrent of abuse,…

Read more

Urrrrrrnnnnnnnggggggg…

Well, maybe not the full groan, but it can’t be that far off it. Last night there were ‘Christmas drinks’ at the subcontractor’s place: champagne, wine (I know champagne is also a wine, but hey: give me a break, I’m fragile), and nasty, nasty canapés. Well, maybe not nasty, nasty, but certainly nasty. Lots of vegetarian things with nuts and lentils in them. None of those filo pastry wrapped prawns that we all know and love. And the, after the high-heedgins had all gone – after telling the staff to stay put and drink the other 23 cases of wine…

Read more

Perfect conditions

Business class to Heathrow this morning. Mmmm… Lovely, lovely business class. Doesn’t happen often, so I have to enjoy it while I can. BMI – gotta love ‘em. Perfect seat for getting some writing done: left hand side of the plane – where there’s only two seats instead of the usual three, so you get an extra wide armrest space in which you can deposit your laptop bag and complementary breakfast box of goodies – and no one sitting in the other seat! Wheeee. Perfect. Get the laptop out and write away at 30,000 feet, free from prying eyes. What…

Read more

An odd thing this ‘publishing a book’ stuff

Fell over the new St. Martin’s Press catalogue thing today. How odd to see someone else writing a synopsis to the book. The weird things that stick in other people’s head from those four hundred and twenty pages, rather than my own, pretty fuzzy recollections. (For some unfathomable reason, Fiona has started looking at me, grinning, saying: “Watson was in her bra and pants!” and dissolving into fits of the giggles. Previous to this, her favourite quote from my work was “Bottoms, bottoms, tee-hee-hee…” Classy stuff, no?) I suppose this is what happens when the book finally starts to get…

Read more

Bah, humbug and poo to the whole thing

Well, maybe not the whole thing, but definitely to the wandering about town all bleedin’ day trying to waste loads of money buying things that probably aren’t even wanted for people we rarely ever see! Arrrrrrrrrgh! Half eight in the morning we started on Saturday and still didn’t get finished until the back of five. But on the plus side, we did manage to pick up stuff for pretty much everyone, except the two most important people on the list: ourselves. So I’ve still got to fight my way back into town at some point to get something nice for…

Read more

They’ve changed the p**********y lights!

Yes, it’s now official: Aberdeen City Council have changed the Christmas lights. After years and years and years of ‘The Twelve Days Of Christmas’, they’ve now gone for multicoloured things involving angels and penguins (I kid you not), you can’t really see them on the webcam, but trust me: they’re there. Trouble is, pretty though they are, I’ve got the twelve flipping days of flipping Christmas in the book. How dare ACC change the Christmas lights without consulting me! Have they no grasp of the need for verisimilitude in crime fiction? Mind you, considering the HUGE number of other things…

Read more